My friends don’t understand me! If you’re having these feelings you’re not alone, friend! Relationships are hard, especially when they feel broken, toxic or even like they’ll be ending soon. And they even sting a bit when we see others sharing friendship goal memes that talk about being friends forever. If you’re feeling lost in your friend groups, I’m here to support you by sharing the lessons I’ve learned through the years when I’ve felt like the odd man out.
(Need more encouragement and inspiration? Check out my be inspired posts here.)
Do you ever feel different or like the odd-man out…your friends don’t really get you or even understand you? At one point you felt comfortable around your girlfriends but you don’t anymore. I’ve been there and know what that feels like. It’s a really awkward time.
If you’re constantly saying “my friends don’t understand me” I want to help you process through the next steps you might need to take.
Friends may not understand you because of a path you’ve chosen.
When our son was born we changed our diet by eliminating as much added sugar as possible. It was a decision we made to give him a jump start and help him be the healthiest little boy possible. (Childhood obesity is at an all time high and I don’t want that for Dalton.)
“I’m sorry he can’t have that to eat” is something I found myself saying a lot. Whenever I said this I would get the oddest looks from friends (and even some family members). They’d look at me with the “why in the world not” question on their face.
While I understand that we’re the “odd balls” in not allowing Dalton to have tons of sugary candy and foods it still left me feeling different and misunderstood.
This was a path that we chose and while friends might not understand me I’m okay with that because my family’s health is more important!
Friends may not understand you because of a season of life you’ve been put in.
Many years ago I went through the pain of my husband leaving me for someone else and eventually divorce. That was an extremely hard season of life to walk through. While I knew I was loved and supported by the friends that we had hung out with, I didn’t feel like I could openly and honestly talk to them. (Thankfully I had mentors in my life that I was able to share with.)
(If you find yourself in a season like this I’d love to reach through the screen and give you a big hug. Your life has been turned upside down in so many ways and you’re trying to find a new normal. I know it feels difficult right now but I promise that your new normal will come if you continue moving forward as best as you can.)
What should I do when my friends don’t understand me?
Whether you feel like the odd man out because of a path you’ve chosen or a season of life you’ve been put in, I want you to surround yourself with people that understand you. Your friends should get you and you should be able to call or text at the drop of a hat to share both the good and bad times of life.
“You are the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with. Choose wisely.”
I love this quote by Jim Rohn. Are the people that you’re spending time with filling your cup or draining you?
Are you doing all of the listening in your relationships, or do you get a chance to share? Friendship should be a 2-way street where both friends have an opportunity to share.
“The people in your life are either stumbling blocks or starting blocks.”
When my pastor shared this quote I had an ah-ha moment. Do the people you hang out with lift you up or drag you down?
I encourage you to stop and think about your friendships. Are they healthy or toxic? Do you get excited to hang out with your friends or only get together out of duty?
If you constantly feel drained when you leave get togethers with friends, know that your relationships are unhealthy, or even dread getting together in the first place, it’s probably time to step back from a few relationships or add some new friends to your circle.
I want you to surround yourself with people that love you for you, lift you up instead of belittling you and understand you (at least most of the time).
As you journey toward healthy friendships, keep in mind that there will never be a perfect relationship. We are all broken and flawed people and great relationships take work.
Be encouraged that healthy and happy friendships are possible, it just takes time to find the right fit!