A great Christian marriage is possible, and I want to show you how! When you follow these tips you will learn how to build a godly marriage that’s both healthy and successful. It won’t be a perfect marriage, because that’s not possible here on Earth, but with your hard work, it will be a Christ-centered marriage you can definitely be proud of!

happy couple, husband has arm around his wife - how to have a great christian marriage

Whether you’ve been married 3, 5 or 10+ years, you know that marriage has its ups and downs.

Marriage is a never ending process of learning and growing together. Plain and simple, a great Christian marriage takes commitment and work!

If you’ll do the work to put these keys into practice I have no doubt that you’ll build a healthy and thriving Christ-centered marriage!

Want A Great Christian Marriage? Try This!

(In full disclosure, my husband and I don’t pretend to have a perfect marriage. We have arguments, don’t agree, and get upset at each other. But the most important thing is that we are committed to each other and work hard to make our marriage work. If we can do this, you can too!)

1. Encourage Your Husband Regularly

Have you ever watched the Olympic swim relays? The swimmers stand at the end of the pool cheering each other on in excitement to finish the race strong…and hopefully win the relay!

Why can’t our marriages be more like that? Why can’t we be the one on the sideline cheering our husband on instead of constantly tearing him down?

We’re quick to encourage our friends when they’re having a hard time, but do we take the time to encourage our husband? (Yep, that steps on my toes too!)

We live in a world where people are constantly tearing each other down. Instead of tearing your husband down, make your marriage a safe place where he regularly feels encouraged by you.

Here are a few simple ways you can encourage your husband and cultivate a great Christian marriage:

  • Express gratitude for your husband’s efforts, whether big or small. Let him know that you notice and appreciate his hard work and the sacrifices he makes for you and your family. (When I started doing this I was amazed at how much a simple thank you meant to my husband.)
  • When your husband feels inadequate at a task, encourage him to keep trying.

  • Pray out loud over your husband, thanking the Lord for the man He’s given you.

  • Be a great listener when your husband shares his thoughts, concerns, or dreams with you.

  • Remind your husband of the things he’s really good at.

  • Support your husband’s hobbies and interests, and even enjoy them with him.

  • Believe in your husband’s potential and encourage him to pursue his dreams and aspirations.

These simple practices can be a source of strength, encouragement, and support to your husband. They will help him thrive in his role as a Christian husband and leader in your family.

happy couple walking on a rocky road

2. Learn To Communicate Well With Your Husband

What would a baseball game look like if the pitcher didn’t tell the catcher what kind of ball he was going to throw?

How crazy would the game of football be if the quarterback didn’t tell the rest of the players on the field what play he was going to run?

I know what you’re thinking – it’s just common sense that sports teams learn to communicate well with each other. It’s their job!

Well, I could tell you the same thing about your marriage. Communication is just common sense in your marriage!

But if it’s common sense, why don’t we do it?

We’ve built the idea in our head that a good marriage is supposed to be like the girly chick flicks that we love to watch on the big screen. You know, the one where the husband completes the wife’s sentences and is able to read her mind.

I hate to break it to you, but those type of marriages aren’t reality!

We are all flawed human beings. We can’t read each other’s minds (and probably wouldn’t want to).

Until we learn to communicate well in our marriage we likely won’t be happy. So grab your husband’s hands, look him deep in the eyes and start talking. It may be awkward and/or hard at first but it’ll be worth it.

Here are 5 of our best tips for creating great communication in your Christian marriage:

1. Create A Code

“It’s after 10.”

To be honest, I don’t exactly remember when this code was created in our marriage, but it’s genius. (I give the credit to Trent.)

One night we were in bed and I asked him a question. He sweetly replied back with, “It’s after 10.” This simple comment was kindly letting me know that he was tired, had already turned his brain off for the night and would gladly answer my question tomorrow.

This little comment has stuck and we’ve rolled with it. Sometimes I’ll say, “It’s before 10.” And we’ve even found ourselves saying, “It’s after 10” when it’s 5 p.m.

No matter what time it is, these three simple words let the other spouse know that we may need to think on the question or just want to answer it later.

Get creative and find a code or codes that work for you and your husband.

2. Say Thank You

Yes, this one is cliche, and we already touched on it above, but please hear me out.

Whether it’s a stranger opening a door for us or someone complimenting our cute outfit, we thank people all the time. But do we ever thank our husband? (I’m definitely guilty of this one.)

Thank your husband for the big things (working hard or being a great provider) and the little things (cleaning the kitchen when you’re tired or giving you the extra hug you needed).

I love it when Trent thanks me for doing the budget, washing the clothes, cooking dinner or countless other things. It makes me feel appreciated and lets me know that he does notice what I’m doing.

Take the time to thank your husband. It may seem like a small thing, but it can make a huge difference!

3. Check in Weekly

Whether you’re going over the family’s events for the week or seeing if there’s something you can help your husband with, checking in weekly is a great way to communicate with your husband and will keep you on the same page with each other.

4. Send A Note/Text/Email

Remember when you were dating and you couldn’t wait to get a special note, email or text from him? Well, just because you said “I Do” doesn’t mean that those sweet moments should stop.

Your note could be as simple as, “I’m thinking about you and wanted to let you know that I love you,” or you could make it a long ushy, gushy love note.

If you have a hard time remembering things like this, add it to your to-do list or set a reminder on your calendar so you won’t forget. (There’s no shame in making a point to love on your husband in a special way.)

5. Fill Your Husband’s Love Tank

“How am I doing on filling your love tank?” It’s a question Trent and I ask each other every few months.

When this question is asked, we know that we can honestly answer the other person. If my love tank is getting empty and I need more quality time (that’s one of my love languages) I can kindly tell Trent without making him feel bad.

If you’re not sure what your spouse’s love language is, I recommend that you check out The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman. It’s a fabulous read and you’ll learn how to love and encourage your husband the way he needs.

Speak words of encouragement and affirmation to your husband regularly. Affirm his character, abilities, and accomplishments, and remind him of the positive impact he has on your life and the lives of others.

Related: How To Encourage Your Husband Spiritually

couple on a beach holding hands on a windy day

3. Work Well Together

Have you ever watched a football game where the crowd is cheering so loudly that the players on the field can’t hear the quarterback’s play? The defensive line will lock arms so they can focus, work together and run the same way down the field. This is what it looks like to work together.

What would your marriage look like if you locked arms with your husband and decided to work with him instead of against him?

How would your relationship look different if you cheered him on instead of tore him down?

Respect is key!

Value your husband’s opinions and ideas, even if they differ from your own.

Respectfully consider his input when making decisions and be willing to compromise when necessary.

When life gets difficult stand with him instead of against him.

Just imagine the unstoppable couple that you can be when you learn to work well together!

4. Be Wise With Your Finances

A great Christian marriage is one where you are great stewards of the money the Lord has entrusted you with. When you learn to manage your finances responsibly you will have less fights. Budget together, avoid debt when possible, and give generously. I’ve written in detail about this in this post – 4 Tips To Stress Free Budgeting With Your Spouse

5. Have Patience, Build Trust and Forgive Your Husband

Trust is essential for a strong and lasting marriage. You’ll be able to build a foundation of trust in your marriage when you are honest, reliable, and transparent with each other.

Forgiveness is essential in a great Christian marriage. As difficult as it is, be quick to forgive your husband. It helps me when I ask myself if the thing we’re disagreeing or in an argument over will matter in 5 days, 5 months or 5 years. If it’s not going to matter then do your best to let it go!

Extend grace and patience to your husband, recognizing that he is a flawed human and, just like you, he makes mistakes. Show understanding and empathy, and offer your support and encouragement when he’s going through a difficult time.

couple sitting at a table by a large window reading a bible and having coffee and muffins

6. Put God First In Your Life and Marriage

In my opinion, this is the most important key to a great Christian marriage, and one I learned the hard way.

When you put the Lord first in your life and marriage you will grow and strengthen your grow relationship with Him.

I shared in depth about putting God first here – Does The Bible Say Who Comes First In Marriage?

Here are a few ways you can strengthen your marriage as you grow in your walk with the Lord.

  • Praying together can deepen your spiritual connection and provide strength during challenges. Not only will your relationship grow as you pray together as a couple, but there’s something powerful about praying over your husband.
  • When you study the Bible together you strengthen your bond and faith as a couple. It can be as simple as joining a couple’s small group, discussing your take-aways from Sunday’s sermon, or reading devotional books. (Not sure which devotional to start with? Check out the best devotionals for Christian couples.)
  • Lift your husband up in prayer daily, asking God to grant him wisdom, strength, and guidance in his roles as a husband, father, and provider. Pray for his spiritual growth and for God’s blessings to be upon him in all areas of his life.

7. Seek Help When Needed

Whether you’re having trouble communicating with each other or need another opinion, don’t be too proud to reach out to a trusted Christian couple or mentors who can offer advice and encouragement. And consider seeking professional help if you’re facing significant challenges or issues.

I know there’s a stigma with the word counselors. Oftentimes people think that couples whose marriages are falling apart talk to counselors, but that’s just not the case. Counselors can offer guidance and support and help you strengthen your marriage!

Are you ready to do the work of building a great Christian marriage? By following these principles and seeking God’s guidance, you can build a strong and fulfilling marriage that glorifies the Lord and reflects His love to the world.

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