Whether you never planned to have children, or just weren’t planning to have children right now, the news of a surprise pregnancy can be overload on the brain. It’s huge news to wrap your mind around, and I want to show you how you can thrive with the news of a surprise pregnancy.
I’ve walked the road you’re walking down and know exactly what you’re going through! Here’s a bit of my story:
I was the girl who never desired to have a baby. My husband and I were taking all the necessary steps to ensure that I wouldn’t get pregnant, but after eight years of marriage the Lord chose a different plan for our lives.
The news of my surprise pregnancy was both a blessing and extremely difficult news to wrap our brains around. (My husband got over the shock much quicker than I did. In fact, our son is nearly a year old and I’m not ashamed to admit that there are days when I’m still in shock.) You can read more about my surprise pregnancy journey here.
Have a Support System
A support system is vital when wrapping your head around the news of a surprise pregnancy. You need someone that will listen when you need to talk and share your fears, give a shoulder to cry on when you don’t know how you’re going to go on, and laugh with you when you’re being downright silly.
Your support system can be friends or family members, but it’s imperative that they are trustworthy and will keep what you share to themselves. This is already a difficult road and you don’t want someone going out and spreading your deepest thoughts and feelings with the entire world!
Throw Yourself A Pity Party But Move On
To be totally honest, I had to throw myself quite a few pity parties. And guess what? That’s totally okay!
When you feel like you need to sit in the corner and cry, do it. But don’t stay in the corner crying. Throw yourself a pity party and move on!
Find Your Own Normal
Once the news of your pregnancy starts getting out, everyone and their brother is going to tell you about their surprise pregnancy. Let me just say that this journey is different for everyone. What helped Sally Mae wrap her brain around the news of her surprise pregnancy may not work for you. It may have taken Jane a short amount of time to be okay with the thought of having a baby in her life, but it may take you 7 months (or more if you’re like me).
Just do the best you can and give yourself healthy expectations as you walk through this journey. Find your own normal, whatever that may look like. I promise that it’ll be different for everyone!
Get Out Of The House
If you’re an introvert like me, your tendency is to coop yourself up in your house. I understand that you don’t want to get out because you want to be by yourself and don’t want to have to talk to anyone about “the big news.” But let me just encourage you to get out…go for a walk, sit out in the sun and read a book, go to the mall and watch people. Just.do.something!
Let It Out
Keeping your feelings and emotions inside isn’t healthy (for you or your baby). Whether you let it out by talking it out with your support system, writing in a journal or crawling in your bed and having a good cry, let your deep, dark feelings out. I promise you’ll feel so much better once you’ve released them!
Not only will it be healthy for you to release those pent up emotions and feelings, but it will also be healthier for that little one growing inside of you.
Get Your Mind Off Of Yourself
There are a ton of ways to get your mind off of yourself, but here are my favorites.
Fill your mind with positive things by listening to your favorite, uplifting music (I love listening to KLove) and quoting scriptures. If you’re not sure where to start with the scriptures I recommend that you start with the Psalms. Pick a chapter and just start reading. I guarantee that if you show up the Lord will show you a verse and speak deep into your heart. (I can’t tell you how many times He’s done that for me!)
Do something for someone else by serving at your church or in your community, visiting an elderly friend or family member that would love nothing more than to have someone to talk to, or grabbing a meal with a friend that’s going through a hard time herself.
Seek Professional Help
I’m an advocate of professional counseling! In fact, I say that everyone should go to counseling whether they think they have problems or not.
I may not have needed professional counseling to help me work through my surprise pregnancy, but there was a time in my life when I did see a counselor on a regular basis. These sessions were the best thing I could have done for myself because she not only helped me work through some difficult situations but equipped me for the future.
All that to say don’t be embarrassed if you need someone to talk to other than your support system.
Sister-friend, I totally get that it feels like your life will never go on. Your world has been turned upside down with the news of your surprise pregnancy, and it’s okay to feel this way. No, your life will never be the same again, but I promise you’re going to make it through this pregnancy. It may be minute-by-minute or it may be month-by-month but just take one step at a time.
You are not alone!!!
I’m here to encourage you through this journey so please don’t hesitate to reach out if you need someone to talk to (or just listen)!