Are you constantly struggling with feeling insecure? These 4 essential tips specifically tailored for Christian women will unlock the secrets to help overcome those negative emotions and boost your self-confidence. As you put them into practice you will learn to see your true beauty, love yourself and be more confident in your relationships. Let me show you how to start your journey towards a more secure and confident you!
“I’ve always been self-conscious, mom!”
As I stood in the dressing room trying on yet another shirt with no success, I started to get frustrated. It’s not because I was being picky…I had quite a few options to choose from…nothing just seemed to be fitting me right.
In my moment of frustration I heard a voice in the stall beside me. It was a young girl talking about her own clothing issues and she was telling her mom that she’s always been self-conscious.
My heart broke for this young girl because I knew exactly how she felt. (If you’re like me and also self-conscious about your looks or body image you well understand how frustrating it is to try on clothes.)
I wanted to say something to her, anything, but I knew it would be way too awkward!
I wanted to tell her that she’s “fearfully and wonderfully made” (Psalm 139:14), but how could I when I wasn’t feeling so great about myself at that moment?
If you can relate to how this young girl felt and you too struggle with insecurity then I hope you’ll keep reading so I can share what has helped me overcome my insecure feelings!
Am I the only one who feels insecure about myself?
It has been quite a few years since I heard that young girl share with her mom that she was feeling insecure, but I have no doubt there are countless others like here dealing with the same issue. And if I’m being honest, my hand is raised here because I struggle with it myself.
As I’ve pondered insecurity over the years I’ve learned that we’re all insecure. Yes, every last one of us!
- The businesswoman that seems to have it all pulled together at her corporate job during the day goes home and falls apart right before bed because she feels like she doesn’t measure up to her coworkers.
- The mom with the perfect kids and put-together schedule cries herself to sleep at night because she wishes she could have the perfect body like her friends.
- Your neighbor with the perfect house and car may be up to her eyeballs in debt but she continues to spend because it dulls the pain from her past that she doesn’t want to face.
Every woman you pass on the street is struggling with insecurity about something. Know that you’re not alone in with your insecure feelings!
4 Essential Tips To Overcome Insecure Feelings
I wish I could tell you that there’s a quick fix for this battle with feeling insecure or that there is a way to make the feelings go away.
The difficult news is that the feelings of insecurity aren’t going anywhere, BUT the good news is that we can learn how to deal with them. I want to show you how I’ve learned to battle with my insecure feelings.
1. Stop comparing yourself!
President Theodore Roosevelt said, “Comparison is the thief of joy.” You’ve likely heard this powerful statement before, but have you ever really let it sink in?
If you’re constantly comparing yourself to everyone else around you you’re never going to be happy. You’ll be stuck in the vicious cycle of wishing for anything and everything else except what’s right in front of you.
Consider Taking A Break From Social Media
Now I don’t know about you but one of the biggest places I tend to compare myself to others is when I’m scrolling through social media. One glance through my feed and start wishing I could be a better wife, have a near perfect body like my friend, create awesome meals for my family, and the list goes on and on.
It’s easy to glance through social media, get jealous and start throwing yourself a pity-party. (I know because I’ve done it myself.)
When you find yourself spiraling down the road to self-pity remind yourself that life isn’t all roses and sunshine. The truth is, unless you’re close friends with everyone in your social media feed you may never see the bigger picture and what’s really going on in their lives.
Crystal Paine says, “If you compare yourself to someone else’s situation, you are going to feel like you fall short when the reality is that you are comparing apples and oranges. Don’t cheat yourself by trying to measure up to people who are living entirely different lives. Focus on the life you have right in front of you, embrace it, and make the most of it.”
Take a minute to think about whether it’s time to take a social media break or even unfollow a few friends for a little while. I’ve done this many times and it makes a huge difference.
2. Decide whose opinion about you matters the most.
We see ourselves with all of our flaws and imperfections. But God, who created each one of us, sees us complete and as His precious daughter.
What would your life look like if you only had to worry about one person’s opinion?
Whose opinion should that be? The one who died on a cross for you thousands of years ago.
He’s crazy about you just the way that you are. The Bible even says “(He) will rejoice over you with singing.” Think about it…He sings over you!
In her devotional book Jesus Calling Sarah Young says, “Find freedom through seeking to please Me above all else. You can only have one Master. When you let others’ expectations drive you, you scatter your energy to the winds. Your own desire to look good can also drain your energy. I am your Master, and I do not drive you to be what you are not.”
When you’re feeling insecure, remind yourself what God thinks about you! After all, His opinion is the only one that should matter!
What does the Bible say about insecurity?
If you struggle with insecure feelings about your body or looks, check out these nuggets from the Bible. Bury them deep into your heart so that you can remind yourself of the truth of God’s word when your insecurity rares its ugly head.
- But the LORD said to Samuel, “Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The LORD does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart.” – 1 Samuel 16:7
- Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight. – 1 Peter 3:3-4
- Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. – Proverbs 31:30
- I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful. – Psalm 139:14
3. Ask for God’s help.
I know, I know, it’s sounds cliche to pray and ask God for help with your insecure feelings. But isn’t that what a Father is there for – a place for a daughter to cry on His shoulder and tell Him what’s going on in her life?
You may even be thinking that He has better things to do than help you with your insecurity issues, but just as you want your kids to come share with you He wants the same of us. Don’t believe me? Check out these verses.
- Therefore let us draw near with confidence to the throne of grace, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need. – Hebrews 4:16
- ‘Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know.’ – Jeremiah 33:3
He wants us to cry out to Him having confidence that He hears us.
The truth is, He loves you sweet sister and longs to have an abundant relationship with you. What better way to strengthen your relationship than to cry out to Him with your insecurities!
*If you struggle knowing what to pray, my Abundant Living Prayer Journal is a beautiful resource to help you grow in your walk with the Lord.
4. Take your thoughts captive.
What in the world am I talking about when I say to take your insecure thoughts captive? Well, I’m glad you asked. Here’s just one of the many instances where I’ve been able to take my thoughts captive.
Years ago I worked in web design. I had been working on a website for a client and my friend was creating the graphics. When I saw her beautiful graphics insecurity rared its ugly head.
I started telling myself that I should be able to create graphics for my sites, I’m not good enough, not talented, and so much more! I’ll just go ahead and admit that I threw myself a mini pity-party. (And it wasn’t very pretty.)
I knew those thoughts swirling around in my brain weren’t truth. God thinks I’m talented…He’s the one who gave me the talents that I have!
I reminded myself that while I may not be as gifted in the graphic design department as my friend, I have many other talents that I should be proud of.
The next time you have an insecure thought I want you to compare it to what Christ says about you…that’s how you take your thoughts captive!
Is it possible to stop feeling insecure about myself?
I wish I could tell you that it is possible to stop feeling insecure but the truth is those feelings are always going to be there. The good news is that you can learn how to combat your insecurities by truly believing what Christ says about you!
Are the thoughts that continuously come to your mind in agreement with what Christ says about you?
II Corinthians 2:15 says, “We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.”
Friend, we must take our thoughts captive and compare them to what Christ says about us.
As soon as you have “that thought” stop right there and ask yourself if Christ would agree with it.
*A great way to know what Christ says about you is to daily be in the Bible reading it. Find a few scriptures that speak deep to your heart and memorize them. (Not sure where to start… I’ve put together a free Bible reading plan for you that takes only 10 minutes a day.)
Taking your thoughts captive isn’t a one and done kind of thing. You must daily choose to take your thoughts captive. I’ve been working on this for years and, let me tell you, it’s hard work, but it’s so worth it! It’s soooo hard at the beginning but gets easier as you continue doing it.
If all of this sounds overwhelming and you’re not sure where to start, pick the one tip that stands out the most to you. Work on that area and then move on to another. Your battle with insecurity starts today and I’m here to cheer you on!
Always remember this when the insecure feelings come!
“I want to remind you of a few truths: You are precious. You are worthy of unfailing love. You are a joy. You are inherently worthy of honor. You are a delight. Your life has a firm purpose. Your Creator made only one of you. The Architect of your being didn’t want a world that was devoid of you. A universe without you is just not a good enough universe. It’s incomplete.
This is part of your original design according to Scripture. These are unshakable truths about you. You were made to be loved—accepted, not rejected.” – Tessa Afshar
No matter what someone has told you in the past, I want you to always remember that you are precious, you are worthy of unfailing love and honor, you are joy, you are a delight, and your life has a firm purpose. Your life has a firm purpose.
Want to give yourself a bit of accountability? Comment below (or email me) and let me know which area you’re going to start with first so that I can cheer you on!
Recommended Resources:
If this article was helpful to help you learn how to overcome insecure feelings, you should definitely check out:
- What to do when friend’s don’t understand me! If you’re feeling lost in your friends group this will encourage you and let you know you’re not alone.
- These tips will help you combat the feelings of throwing in the towel when you feel like giving up.
- Do you feel empty inside…like you’ve drained yourself dry and have nothing left to give? These 8 self care tips will help you begin to fill yourself back up and be the best YOU possible!
- Do you want to learn how to say no? Let me show you when to say yes and when to say no without feeling guilty or being rude.
Yes, I will join you. This has been something I have battled in my life since 1st grade.
Thanks so much for sharing deeply. I was very shame based when I was a teen also. Been working through it steadily with our Lord’s help… I’m 66 now. :) Best wishes to you Linda
Thank you for your encouragement Linda!
I wish it was a one and done kind of thing, but this battle is a daily thing. And I wouldn’t be able to do it without the Lord’s help either!
You’ve got it sister. And it really is a daily task – we should add it, literally, to our to-do lists. The enemy knows that our biggest battle ground is our mind.
I love the idea of adding it to our daily to-do list!
Thanks for stopping by and joining the conversation Amy!