jean pocket with card sticking out

Do you have a hard time saying no like I do? Let me show you how I’m learning that I need to say no to the good so I can say yes to the best!

(Need more encouragement and inspiration? Check out my be inspired posts here.)

pocket with card sticking out

I had received an invitation to an event but had no desire to go. It was one of those invitations where you feel highly obligated to go and desperately hope that you already have something on your calendar before even looking at the date. (Sigh! Please tell me you’ve had the same dilemma!) After giving it quite a bit of thought, I decided to decline the invitation since it wasn’t something that I would enjoy.

I felt guilty for saying no.

After letting them know that I wouldn’t be attending I patted myself on the back because I was so proud that I followed through and actually said no. But then I started to feel guilty and self-doubt crowded my mind. “Am I a loser for not attending? Will I be letting the other attendees down? Why can’t I be more like so and so?”

Just as quickly as the self-doubt came the Lord spoke truth into my heart and reminded me of the words that my pastor has shared with us many times. “Sometimes you have to say no to the good so you can say yes to the best.”


block letters of the word no

Photo Credit: Eric Ferdinand CC

No…it’s a word our society doesn’t like to say. We flippantly say yes to everything without thinking of the huge impact these two letters can make in our life.

Stop doing things because you feel obligated to do them.

Even as I read the words from Crystal Paine’s book, Say Goodbye To Survival Mode, they rang true to my heart. Listen and see if they resonate with your heart as they did mine!

“Stop letting people manipulate you into a miserable existence. Stop doing things because you feel obligated to do them. Stop doing things because you’re afraid of what people might think of you if you don’t do them. Stop over-committing yourself.”

You don’t have to do everything.

I used to feel like a failure when I had to tell people no but now I’m realizing that’s not the case at all. It’s taken me time to realize that I don’t have to (and can’t) do everything, and I’m learning that it’s okay to say no. (Learn how to say no graciously here.)

Truth be told, if I say yes to everything, not only will my schedule be overloaded, but I’ll become a frazzled mess and that’s definitely not the kind of person that I was created to be.


lady sitting overlooking the city at dusk

I love how Crystal explains it, “Saying yes to the best means focusing and streamlining your time, energy and efforts on what matters most at the time.”

Each situation is different and I have to ask myself if it really matters. I must remind myself that I may have to say no to a few good things so I can say yes to the best things!

Do you have a hard time saying no? What tips can you share that will help the rest of us on the journey to saying yes to the best?

Originally shared December, 2013

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