Is hosting really possible as an introvert? I’m here to tell you that it is…it really is! I’m sharing three questions that you need to ask yourself before hosting your next (or even first) event.
Hi! My name is Tshanina and I’m an introvert who’s avoided hosting like the plague for as long as I can remember. If you feel the same way you’re not alone and you’ve come to the right place.
Up until a few months ago the only type of hosting I’ve done is making dinner for my 3 sisters and their families. If I’m being totally honest that simple task stressed me out. It wasn’t just evident to me but to my family as well.
How do I know? Well, when I asked one of my sisters what she thought about the idea of hosting a game night for some girl friends she ever so kindly asked whether or not it’d be a good idea since hosting family stressed me out.
After that conversation I knew something needed to change. I decided to dig deep and try to figure out why this simple task caused such anxiety and stress so that when time came for me to host my family (and even friends) later it would be an enjoyable time. I came up with three questions to ask myself before hosting anything…and boy have they helped!
The next time you find yourself asking if hosting is really possible as an introvert remind yourself that, yes, it is and ask yourself these three questions!
What Stresses Me Out About Hosting?
This may seem like an odd question to ask yourself but you won’t be able to eliminate the stress if you don’t know what’s stressful about hosting. So take some time to really think about what it is that causes this anxiety and see if there’s a solution.
Here’s what that looked like for me.
Stressors: There were three different things that stressed me out. (1) Cooking for people that have food allergies. (Two of my family members have food allergies and the thought of being the cause of them being sent to the emergency room makes me nervous, not to mention it would break my heart.) (2) Having the food ready at a certain time. (3) Not having enough food for everyone and someone going home hungry.
Solutions: (1) I decided to find 3-4 different allergy-friendly meals that I can serve whenever I know my family is coming over. That way I don’t even have to think about it and already know what I’m going to make. Also, I like to make desserts from scratch beforehand and freeze them so placing a sticker on them with notes about who can/can’t have each item is a huge help.
(2) I asked myself if this really mattered. Are they really looking at the clock to see exactly what time it is and asking when it will be time to eat? Ok, maybe the kids are but no one else is. I decided that this would be a mute point and it didn’t really matter.
(3) Since I came up with 3-4 meals to serve every time I hosted my family, after serving them the first time I’d know just how much they would eat and how much to cook. I could make a note of that so that I wouldn’t have to try to remember the next time I was getting ready to host them.
See how easy that was?! Figure out what causes stress when you’re hosting, come up with a solution, and make it work for you.
What’s My Hosting Style?
I used to think that hosting meant that everything needed to be fancy – or at least that it was a must to have “real” plates, silverware and glass cups. But I’m learning that’s not the case at all.
My style is pictured above – paper plates, plasticware and plastic cups. This eased my stress level and makes for easy clean-up afterwards.
If pulling out the fine china, cloth napkins and decorating a fancy table is your style I want you to go all out.
Whether you’re style is fancy, casual or somewhere in the middle, be confident with who you are. Your guests love you and I highly doubt they care what they’re eating off of.
Does My House Really Need To Be Perfect?
The short answer is an emphatic no!
I’m learning that when people come over to my house they’re coming to see me and my family and not to do a white glove inspection of my house.
So the next time you get stressed out about the way your house looks when you’re hosting a get-together think about what you look at when you’re at someone else’s house. Are you really looking to see if they’ve dusted or if there are cobwebs in the corner of a room. No! You’re there to visit with that person.
Now that doesn’t mean that I don’t get a bit anxious or stressed out about nitpicky things or that my house isn’t “perfect” before they come over, but when I remind myself that they’re there to see me it makes such a HUGE difference!
As long as there’s a clean bathroom and the living room is decently picked up and there’s somewhere for everyone to sit I think you’ll be just fine.
Take a deep breath and enjoy your time together.
L I N K S O F T H E D A Y