Your spouse loves the idea of saving money and becoming debt free, but the thought of planning weekly or monthly doesn’t sound like fun. Stress free budgeting with your spouse is possible. Let me show you what works for us!
It’s no secret that money fights are the number one cause of divorce. Talking about money and how you’re going to spend it can be difficult (whether finances are tight or you’re in a season of abundance.)
God gave you each other as helpmates to be there for each other through the good and the bad. And that, friend, is why being on the same page when budgeting with your spouse is so very important.
Why should I listen to you about budgeting with my spouse?
I totally understand where you’re coming from!
Trent and I will be the first to admit that we don’t have everything about budgeting and finances figured out. Even though we’ve been married over 15 years, there are times when we struggle to communicate with each other and even have occasional arguments about money.
After setting up our first budget together we worked diligently to pay off our house and continue to live debt free.
We want the same freedom for you!
How did we get started?
When Trent and I married I had been budgeting since I was 15 years old. And even though he had never been on a written budget before, he was extremely wise and responsible with his money!
We combined our finances and created a written budget together (which we still use to this day). I enjoy the numbers, so it made sense that I would work the budget each week.
That being said, here are 4 tips that work for us when attempting stress free budgeting with your spouse.
4 Best Ways To Budget As A Married Couple
1. Agree On Your Finances From The Beginning
Whether you’re setting up a budget for the first time, or revamping the budget that you currently have, it is important that you both agree from the beginning.
God made each of us unique and we have different ideas about how we like to spend money.
You might have been raised differently than your spouse which means his family likely spent money differently than yours. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with this.
The best way I can describe it is to find your new normal with your finances.
Change can be difficult and hopefully this will eliminate money fights later.
Take the time to go through each line item in your budget together and agree on it.
Side Note: YNAB (You Need A Budget ) is a fabulous budgeting app that allows you both to manage your finances any time and anywhere. (Grab YNAB’s free trial and see if it’s a fit for you!
2. Don’t Bear the Financial Burden Alone
If you are the spouse working the weekly budget, it’s inevitable that unforeseen expenses are going to pop up. Before you “rob Peter to pay Paul,” talk with your spouse and decide together where the money should come from.
I say this because there have been plenty of times when this has happened to me. Instead of asking Trent what he thought, I’d stress about where the money was going to come from.
When I started including him in the decision making process, he’d quickly have an idea where we could take the money from. It was as if his decision was stress free – because it was!
After I asked for his help I would always wonder why I hadn’t done it sooner and eliminated the unnecessary stress for myself. (See, stress free budgeting with your spouse is possible!)
3. Have A Monthly Budget Overview
Much like not bearing the financial burden alone, each month it is important to let your spouse know what’s going on with your finances.
Sit down over coffee or dinner and take a few minutes to look over your finances line item by line item.
This monthly budget overview allows the spouse that doesn’t work the weekly budget to ask questions and know exactly where you are with your finances.
4. Have Separate Blow Money
Blow money is just that, cash that you can do whatever you want with!
Whether it’s $15 or $100 each, we recommend that you each have your own blow money.
If Trent wants to spend all of his blow money on fishing gear, I can’t give him a hard time.
And, if I want to spend all of my money on massages, he can’t give me a hard time!
The beauty of having separate blow money is just that, you don’t have to talk to your spouse about how to spend it. You’re free to spend it however you’d like!
If these tips for stress free budgeting with your spouse were helpful, you might also like:
- Trust in marriage can be hard. Learn whether honesty in marriage is really necessary.
- Grow together with your spouse and the Lord with these devotions for couples to do together.
- Strengthen yourself and your marriage by learning how to be a godly wife and positively influence your husband.
We have one take charge but discuss everything. In our home, my husband is in charge of the budget because he is the head of the household, responsible, earns the paycheck and works well with numbers. However, everything outside debt payments (credit cards and cars) we discuss. I know how much is budgeted for each category…and I know if we are nearing the limit. He takes into consideration (and usually spoils me) everything that I have been looking at for the house and kids and factors that into to our monthly budget.
Most importantly, though, he listens to God and how God says we should spend our money.
We also have separate free spending accounts but that is more because I like to shop more than he does and this makes me feel more comfortable about knowing that my splurge isn’t going to cut into the rest of the budget (it is a separate account completely).
We are working on paying off debt and by Jan 2017 we should have everything minus our house and a little student loans paid off. That is all thanks to the hubby!
Hi Jacki! I love that you and your husband have a system that works for your family, and especially that your husband “spoils you”! (That’s just precious!)
Good for you for working on paying off your debt! January 2017 will be here before you know it and you’ll be able to scream, “We’re debt free!”
Thanks for stopping by and joining the conversation!
Jacki M,
Its so encouraging to hear that you trust your husband, specificaly becuase he listens to God and acknoledges Him in his finacial ways. I hope to be in that situation with a husband who trust in God above all one day.
I like this. I think if everyone was more open with their finances everyone would do better. We discuss budget every quarter now that it’s pretty set & working alright… Even though I am the number cruncher, it is great to do it together.
Glad you like it Hilary! I totally agree with your statement, “if everyone was more open with their finances everyone would do better.”
Thanks for stopping by and joining the conversation!
In my house, hubs is the saver while I’m the spender. It took me awhile to realize that I was the spender… I will haggle with anyone, any store to make sure what I’m buying is under $20, furniture included and I thought this made me the saver… wrong!
After 10 yrs of having my hand in the finances, we both realized… it’s not my strong suit. So, it’s his department. I’ll tell him what I “need” to purchase and what I’d “like” to purchase and how much it’ll cost. He’ll tell me what I can spend.
We’re going on the 4th year of doing this and in those 4 yrs we’ve paid off the house and student loans, we have 1 month left on the last vehicle, and we’re now down to 1 medical bill. If only I had let him have complete control when we married 14 yrs ago… I’m wondering if we’d be millionaires by now. ;)
I love that you’ve found a system that works for you and your hubby, Sarah! You are killing it with your finances! Congrats on having a paid for house!
Oh those “if onlys.” I see a bright future for your finances!
Thanks for stopping by and joining the conversation.
I am definitely the numbers person in our house, but my husband has recently started participating a lot more since we got a budgeting app from YNAB that works on our smart phones. I love it! It saves me so much time since he now enters his own transactions and he can check how much is left in a budget category.
And like you said, a monthly overview together really helps to get both of us on the same page.
Sarah, that app sounds amazing and I can definitely see how that would be helpful!
Thanks for stopping by and joining the conversation!
Money is a serious issue for so many marriages, because it is hard to handle in many respects. My husband and I gifted ourselves one Valentine’s Day with Dave Ramsey’s dumping debt class, and have taken a ton of the stress out of money management because of it. I found your article on Salt & Light, and I’m glad I did, it was very well written, and great to read!
Marissa
Hi Marissa! I agree that money is a serious issue in marriages. If we would tackle the issue of money in our marriages, I think it would open up the lines of communication in other areas!
Thanks for your kind words and for joining the conversation.
I think the suggestion about separate blow money is huge. My partner and I started doing that several years ago, and it relieved a lot of arguments and resentment over one of us spending money on something the other thinks is “dumb.”
I love hearing what works for other couples! Thanks for sharing Whozat!
Budgeting with my spouse is the hardest thing, ever. He is okay with never spending any money, but he spends too much on big stuff. It’s just really hard.
I’m sorry it’s a struggle, Kristy!
These are great tips! They are things that we know, but somehow manage to forget over time.
We can never have too many reminders can we Jamie?
Thanks for stopping by!