I’m not an expert when it comes to marriage but one thing I do know is that it takes work. Check out these four ways we’ve learned to make our marriage work for us. Hopefully they’ll work for you too!
The wedding and honeymoon are over and now the real work begins. Whether you’ve been married 1, 7 or even 20 years, you know that marriage has its ups and downs. It’s a never ending process of learning and growing. Plain and simple, it takes work!
Here are four things Trent and I have found that work in our marriage.
Say Thank You
Yes, this one is cliche, but please hear me out.
Whether it’s a stranger opening a door for us or someone complimenting our cute outfit, we thank people all the time. But do we ever thank our spouse? (I’m definitely guilty of this one.)
Thank your spouse for the big things (working hard or being a great provider) and the little things (cleaning the kitchen when you’re tired or giving you the extra hug you needed).
I love it when Trent thanks me for doing the budget, washing the clothes, cooking dinner or countless other things. It makes me feel appreciated and lets me know that he does notice what I’m doing.
Take the time to thank your spouse. It may seem like a small thing, but it can make a huge difference!
Create A Code
“It’s after 10.”
To be honest, I don’t exactly remember when this code was created, but it’s genius. (I give the credit to Trent.) One night we were in bed and I asked him a question. He sweetly replied back with, “It’s after 10.” This simple comment was kindly letting me know that he was tired, had already turned his brain off for the night and would gladly answer my question tomorrow.
This little comment has stuck and we’ve rolled with it. Sometimes I’ll say, “It’s before 10.” And we’ve even found ourselves saying, “It’s after 10” when it’s 5 p.m. No matter what time it is, these three simple words lets the other spouse know that we may need to think on the question or just want to answer it later.
Get creative and find a code or codes that work for you. This is just another way to have healthy communication.
Fill Their Love Tank
“How am I doing on filling your love tank?” It’s a question Trent and I ask each other every few months. When this question is asked, we know that we can honestly answer the other person. If my love tank is getting empty and I need more quality time (that’s one of my love languages) I can kindly tell Trent without making him feel bad.
If you’re not sure what your spouse’s love language is, I recommend that you check out The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman. It’s a fabulous read and you’ll learn how to love your spouse the way they need to be loved.
Send A Note/Text/Email
Remember when you were dating and you couldn’t wait to get a special note, email or text from the one that you love? Well, just because you said “I Do” doesn’t mean that those sweet moments should stop.
Your note could be as simple as, “I’m thinking about you and wanted to let you know that I love you,” or you could make it a long ushy, gushy love note.
If you have a hard time remembering things like this, add it to your to-do list so you won’t forget. (There’s no shame in making a point to love on your spouse in a special way.)
Now It’s Your Turn!
What are your tips for making a great marriage work?