“If I can just make it until Dalton’s a couple years old when he’ll be able to tell me what’s going on and why he’s crying, I’ll be able to survive motherhood.”
As soon as I shared those words with a family friend I was immediately convicted at what I was actually saying. Although not out loud, I’d told myself this quite a few times in the three months since I’d given birth to our little guy. I decided that life would be much easier in a few years.
I thought my surprise pregnancy was a lot to wrap my brain around, but I quickly learned just how hard this motherhood gig really was. (Sure there were sweet moments, but motherhood’s not always rainbows and unicorns like everyone makes you think it is.) Most days I was just doing my best to survive.
Every time I thought these words, what I was really saying was:
[pullquote3 align=”right”]I was turning into Winnie The Pooh’s Eeyore – someone I definitely didn’t want to be![/pullquote3]
Life would be hard until Dalton was a couple years old.
I would have to wait to be able to enjoy motherhood and this precious gift.
Self-pity was okay and I was giving myself permission to wallow in it for the next couple years.
I was turning into Winnie The Pooh’s Eeyore – someone I definitely didn’t want to be!
Reflecting Opened My Eyes
One thing is certain in this life, we are not promised tomorrow. (James 4:14) Any moment could be our last here on Earth.
It’s hard to even fathom, but what if something happened to Dalton (or even me) during those two years that I had planned on waiting? Oh how I would regret my choices! How I would long to go back and change my thought process!
The thought of waiting a couple years to enjoy this tiny life I’d been given to take care of sounded, well, crazy! I had to choose to enjoy life as the mom of a baby (something I never dreamed I’d be doing).
It was in that moment that I verbally uttered these words to my family friend that I realized that things had to change. I had to choose to enjoy life now!
I knew that this choice didn’t take away the fact that Dalton would still cry and frustrate me or that life would likely still feel like survival mode for the next few years. There was no doubt that life would still be challenging, but choosing joy was the best thing I could do – it was the healthier option.
And d’ya know what? Changing my mindset made all the difference in the world! As the hard moments came, I would remember a few hours earlier when Dalton smiled at me or even shared his deepest thoughts as he cooed and “talked.” I decided that I could do this (with the Lord’s help, of course!)
What About You?
What has life thrown at you that you wish you didn’t have to walk through? Much like I was, what circumstance are you wallowing through as you wait for them to pass?
Whatever you’re walking through, please know that you’re not alone! (This isn’t the first time I’ve faced a hard path on this journey of life.) Won’t you join me by changing your mindset and choosing joy today? It just might be one of the best decisions you’ve ever made!