I’d sent Jayden next door to his house the night before because of a bad attitude. And, quite frankly, I had no idea if he’d come back over or even want anything to do with me anymore.
But the next day as I looked up from where I was working to see if Princess had come back to the door from going potty, I gasped in fright to see Jayden peering through the door. All morning long I had been pondering what had transpired the night before, but apparently he had forgotten!
The Night Before
As Trent and I played ping-pong with Jayden and his cousin, they started arguing and whatnot. I gave them a warning and told them that unless they had good attitudes they were going to have to go home. Honestly, I didn’t think Jayden would be the person I would be sending home.
Just a few minutes later when I told him he had to go home, he begged and pleaded for me to let him stay. I could see that he was sorry for what he’d done and I so wanted to give in, but I knew I had to stand my ground. It took everything within me to send him home, but I knew it was for the best. He has to learn.
I may not be a parent but I’ve been around kids long enough to know what they need. Students in the youth group know that when I say something I mean it. In fact, a few years ago a student was begging me to do something and another student piped up and said, “She already told you no so you might as well stop asking.” She got the point!
Family S.O.S. with Jo Frost is a new tv show. Jo (formerly the SuperNanny) goes into homes and helps parents deal with their horrid (those are my words) children. As I watched, a mom told her teenage son that she was going to give him rules to follow, stick to her guns and make him behave. He turned to her and said, “I’ve been craving for you to be like this, for you to just say something and me not be able to persuade you. In the moment it sucks but I know in the end it’s good for me.”
It’s not easy sticking to what we’ve said, and there have been plenty of times when I’ve wanted to cave in. I’ve learned that if I do give in, I’ll never be taken seriously. Kids know what works, how to push buttons, and they will continue to push until we’ve stood our ground. A few weeks ago Jayden was begging me for something. I asked him if this worked at home. He quickly said yes and told me that his family usually gives in after asking about 5 times. I just shook my head and let him know that that’s not how it works with me.
You may be frustrated because it’s so difficult sticking to what you’ve said. You’re not alone in this journey and I want to encourage you to keep at it and not give up. When your kids learn that you’re not going to back down, they’ll begin to take what you’ve said more seriously and know that you mean what you say. And, in time, it will get easier because they’ll learn that it’s useless to waste their breath in begging because you’re not going to give in.