It’s super hard to confess, but the thought of motherhood is scary. There, I said it, and I feel a lot better!
Since I’ve been on this surprise pregnancy journey, the thought of mothering a tiny baby that can’t tell me what’s wrong is ever so daunting. In the back of mind I thought that maybe someday we’d adopt or be foster parents, but that would likely have been to a child that was toddler age or older (you know, one that can talk).
The “what ifs” constantly cloud my mind:
What if the crying drives me insane?
What if there’s never any time with Trent, or even for myself?
What if I don’t have the patience to be a mom?
What if my child turns out to be a brat that no one wants to be around?
The list goes on and on.
I’m sure these are feelings and “what ifs” that all first-time moms have rolling around in their brains. If they’re not, I’ll definitely be the first to admit that I can be selfish.
One thing I learned when I went to counseling a few years ago was that it’s okay to feel the way I do. I also learned that it’s valuable to dig a bit deeper and ask myself why I’m feeling the way I feel. And if I’m being totally honest, all of the “what ifs” stem from me being scared.
Motherhood is a lifelong journey and I’m learning that it’s normal and okay to be scared to walk down a new, unknown path of life.
Even as I was pondering what to share in this post, the Lord showed me this in my morning devotions.
No matter what we face as mothers, the Lord has not only determined our path but He walks alongside us on our journey!
Is/was the thought of motherhood scary for you? (Please share your thoughts in the comments below.)