My Surprise Pregnancy Journey, Part 1

By |2014-06-17T08:32:46+00:00June 2nd|

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Follow along as I share the story of my surprise pregnancy journey. This series is candid, raw and very personal.

Disclosure: The words in this series are candid, raw and very personal. I don’t share so you’ll feel sorry for me, but to help someone else that finds themselves on a surprise pregnancy journey and to let them know they’re not alone! (One thing I’ve learned through this thing called life is that my story is valuable and through my sharing the Lord may be able to help someone else.)

My Surprise Pregnancy Journey, Part 1

I sat in my gynecologist’s office stunned. I had just been told the news that I was pregnant and I slowly began to cry. How could I be pregnant? We had used the same birth control method for the past seven years and hadn’t changed a thing. How could this be?

I called Trent to share the shocking news. He ever so sweetly told me, “We’ll get through this.” But this wasn’t a situation to “get through” – this was the rest of our lives.

Why We Don’t Have Children

I’ve talked about a lot of things here at Thrifty T’s Treasures, but I don’t think I’ve ever shared why Trent and I don’t have children. It’s not because we don’t like children, because we do. If you’ve been hanging around here for any length of time you’ve seen posts about nieces/nephews and even our little neighbor boy.

The truth is, I’ve never really had the desire to physically have children. I don’t know what it is, but it’s just never been there. People would always tell me, “Oh, you’ll change your mind,” but I never did. In my late teen years I started having female problems and I learned that I had endemetriosis. After that, I realized that I may not even be able to have children. I was okay with that and figured that the Lord didn’t give me the desire for a baby because I wouldn’t be able to have them.

Even though I never had the desire to physically have children, and knew that I might not be able to, I truly believed that if God wanted me to have a child He would make it happen despite any efforts to prevent anything on our part. Well, apparently He wanted us to have this little gift because of where we are today.

The Processing Begins

The first few weeks after I learned that I was pregnant were very difficult. I became extremely depressed and kicked and screamed at God because this wasn’t part of my plan for my life. (I feel guilty for even sharing this because I know of many families that would do anything for a precious little baby.) It didn’t help that I couldn’t sleep through the night. Add being tired to depression and you don’t have a good mix – at all!

Even though I was confused at why God chose this plan, I continued to run to Him every day for a fresh word. I knew running to Him was the only way I was going to make it through this journey. Day after day He came through! I had just started a new devotional, Dear Jesus and it was if He was speaking right to my heart through the words that Sarah Young had written. There were days when I knew that the words I read in my devotion were exactly what I needed and straight from Him.

Check out My Surprise Pregnancy Journey to read the rest of this series!

Comments (30)

  1. C June 2 at 5:06 pm - Reply

    So glad you are sharing this because we know there are other women out there who have had the same feelings. Thank you for being brave enough to share your heart.

    • Tshanina Peterson June 3 at 3:48 pm - Reply

      Thank you for the encouragement C! My desire in sharing so candidly is to encourage someone else walking down this same road!

  2. Krissy June 2 at 5:07 pm - Reply

    I’m so glad that you shared. I was the flip side of where you were at. I wanted more than anything to have a baby. I lost my 1st baby a year after I was married. I was 3 months along and it just wasn’t meant to be. After that I did many rounds of fertility treatments none worked. I resigned myself to the fact I would never have a baby. Them out of the blue 10 yrs after I lost my 1st baby I was stunned on my ob’s office to find out I was again pregnant. I also lost that baby a few weeks later and have never gotten pregnant again. I then leaned on god and realized maybe I just wasn’t meant to be a mom. Last summer my gramma got sick and I cared for her everyday until the day she died. I them realized maybe I never had a child so that when my gramma needed me most I was able to be there for her with no distractions. I no longer have the sad feelings of never being a mommy. But I know now that doesn’t diminish who I am just because I could never have a baby. You are an awesome role model and I know you will be a wonderful mom and have one lucky baby. Congrats to you and Trent.

    • Tshanina Peterson June 3 at 3:53 pm - Reply

      Krissy, my heart is saddened at the loss of your two precious babies. I’m so sorry for your loss! {Hugs to you!} It’s hard to understand why God allows us to walk through certain circumstances isn’t it?

      You’re totally right, whether or not you have a baby doesn’t change the beautiful person that God created you to be!

      Thank you for your encouraging words!

  3. Katie Clagg June 2 at 8:23 pm - Reply

    Tsha-nay-nay :)

    I squealed when I found out you were expecting! :) Why? Well, obviously because YAY BABY! But also because I’ve known you for basically my whole life and I KNOW that you’re going to be a wonderful mother. Love and prayers being sent your way! Can’t wait to see that little one!

    <3 Katie

    • Tshanina Peterson June 3 at 4:07 pm - Reply

      Thank you for your sweet words and prayers precious Katie!

      I’m sure there will be plenty of pictures to share! :O)

  4. Shelly June 3 at 5:30 pm - Reply

    I’m sure you’ll be a wonderful mom. I feel for you and thank you for sharing your story. I was thrilled with my first pregnancy and then scared when I got pregnant two more times.

    I’ve had three pregnancies. I had a miscarriage with one and two babies born ten years apart. But no healthy kids. Both of my kids have a disease that no one has been able to diagnose. It’s been 17 years now and the disease is progressing but still no answers. I know my kids will never get to leave our home, live on their own or lead normal lives unless God intervenes and changes stops the disease. This disease is attacking their brains and slowly deteriorating it away. This disease the doctors say is genetic but that is all we know.

    But I know God has a plan for our family, that He cares for us and will never give us more than we can handle. Even though this pregnancy wasn’t in your long term plans. It was in God plan for your life. He has a special little one that only you and your husband would be perfect for.

    • Tshanina Peterson June 4 at 9:15 am - Reply

      Thank you for sharing Shelly! {Hugs to you!} I pray blessings over your family, and strength for you to face each day as you take care of your precious kids.

      I totally agree that this pregnancy is part of God’s plan for our lives. He will give me the strength to handle whatever is ahead!

  5. Jill June 3 at 6:55 pm - Reply

    You should never feel guilty about your feelings. Is that a paradox of a phrase or what? Everyone has their own journey to go through. Your journey was not part of your plan, but sometimes the best things in life aren’t.

    • Tshanina Peterson June 4 at 9:16 am - Reply

      Thanks for the encouragement Jill!

  6. Betsy @ June 4 at 10:29 pm - Reply

    It’s so tough when God’s plans “deviate” from ours… but definitely makes for a wake-up call, huh. Thanks for being so honest and sharing your story. I’m pinning this in case it can help others in similar situations.

    • Tshanina Peterson June 5 at 3:51 pm - Reply

      It really is Betsy, but we must keep in mind that He knows what’s best for our lives!

      I appreciate you pinning and hope my story will be able to help someone else!

  7. Wow, I’m so interested to read the rest of this series! Joseph and I have been married for 7 years and don’t have kids….but that’s because we felt the same way you and Trent do. We’re not sure we really want to have any and are OK with that. I will be praying for you through this time. <3

    • Tshanina Peterson June 5 at 3:53 pm - Reply

      I’m glad you enjoyed this post and are looking forward to the rest of the series.

      Thanks for your prayers Kalyn Brooke!

  8. Amber Martin June 8 at 9:20 pm - Reply

    Girl! I am so happy for you! You will be an absolute smashing mom!! I am so glad I found your blog!

    • Tshanina Peterson June 9 at 10:31 am - Reply

      You’re so very kind Amber; thank you!

  9. Kathy M June 16 at 9:39 pm - Reply

    Love hearing your story, prayers for peace and confidence. Never feel guilty. Kris and I were very similar. Even though we knew we eventually wanted children, we had a very definite plan. We were so super careful, leaving no room for error, that we were well in to the 2nd trimester before I couldn’t deny something was going on. Then, I understand, I couldn’t even say the word “pregnant.” I was very depressed and struggled with getting excited. I accepted it and began getting ready but don’t ever remember being “giddy,” “resolved” to be the best mom possible was a better description. Well, needless to say, yada, yada, yada, (our second wasn’t planned either so beware) God’s ways are right and it has been an incredible journey. We have got some stories to tell and I cannot imagine life without my boys! Praying for much joy in this journey, for all of you. You are going to be an amazing mom and you and Trent are the perfect parents for this baby.

    • Tshanina Peterson June 17 at 8:43 am - Reply

      Thank you for your prayers and encouragement Kathy!

      You know I’m not a giddy girl at all, so I’m much like you and have also resolved to be the best mom possible, as scary as that may be. Thank you for sharing part of your story and letting me know that I’m not alone in my feelings.

      I have no doubt that this is God’s plan…after all, He sees the bigger picture.

      Much love to your precious family!

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  15. April December 26 at 10:23 pm - Reply

    I had some of the same feelings when we discovered number three while on vacation in Washington DC. We already had 2, 7 and 9, girl and boy and had decided we were done. Well, turns out, not quite.
    She’s 12 now and I’m not sure how life would have been if she hadn’t come along. Things would have definitely been different. But would I change it. No. I know I couldn’t say yes even if I wanted to but the answer really is no.
    She’s brought an aspect to our lives that is immeasurable.

    • Tshanina Peterson December 27 at 11:01 am - Reply

      Thanks for sharing and encouraging me today, April!

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