Check out My Surprise Pregnancy Journey if you missed the first part of this series!
Throughout my journey I couldn’t help but feel alone. Sure, I had a huge support system around me, but none of them knew exactly what I was going through. I heard from/talked to a lot of women who had surprise pregnancies, but none that had never desired to have children. I felt like I was on a tiny raft surrounded by large ships. Friends and family were on the ships and were wanting to throw life rings to me, but I just couldn’t reach them. It was definitely a lonely feeling!
The Thought of Labor/Delivery
I’m not going to lie, the thought of delivering our gift was overwhelming, to say the least. (I’m sure every first-time mom has these same overwhelming feelings.) I guess you could say I was scared about the whole ordeal. I mean, there are so many things that could go wrong.
Even as I faced this fear, once again the Lord encouraged me. Randomly I picked up Trent’s Guidepost and read the following advice that a dad had written to his daughter:
“Try to identify clearly what you are fearful of. This is important because there is very little you can do with a generalized fearful frame of mind. But once you identify more precisely what you fear, you will be able to find texts that speak directly to the fear.
While it is good from time to time to imagine the loss of things that are precious to you, it is not good to dwell there. God will give you what you need when you need it, not before. Practice aggressive thanksgiving for what you actually have now. The losses you fear may never come, so what’s the point in thinking about them. Rather than letting fears about a future you cannot control fill your mind, aggressively fill it with thanksgiving and good things.”
I’m a plan ahead kind of girl. I like to know what’s going to happen so I can process through and somewhat be in control of the situation. But, this was yet another situation that I wouldn’t be in control of. It was healthier for me not to think about the delivery but just trust that the Lord would help me through it when the time came. Whenever the thought of delivery popped in my head, I would recite Psalm 56:3, “When I am afraid, I will trust on you” and Isaiah 41:13, “For I am the Lord your God who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you.”
The Lord had helped me thus far on this journey (and in my life) and I had no doubt He would help me when the time came to deliver our gift!