Both girls and women of all ages are searching for the key to unlock the secret in our battle with insecurity. Overcoming it is constantly in our thoughts. We even search for quotes that will boost our self esteem or make us stop being insecure about our flaws or body image.
I totally understand how you are feeling because I’ve been there too! I’m learning to see my true beauty, love myself and be more confident with friends in my relationships. Let me show you how I’ve learned to live a full life while daily battling insecurity!
As I stood in the dressing room trying on yet another shirt with no success, I started to get frustrated. It’s not because I was being picky! In fact, I had quite a few options to choose from…nothing just seemed to be fitting me right.
In my moment of frustration I heard a voice in the stall beside me. It was a young girl talking about her own clothing issues and she was telling her mom that she’s always been self-conscious.
My heart broke for this young girl because I knew exactly how she felt. (If you’re like me and also self-conscious about your looks or body image you well understand how frustrating it is to try on clothes.) I wanted to say something to her, anything, but I knew it would be way too awkward!
I wanted to tell her that she’s “fearfully and wonderfully made” (Psalm 139:14), but how could I when I wasn’t feeling so great about myself at that moment?
We’re All Insecure
It has been quite a few years since I heard that young girl share with her mom that she was insecure, but I have no doubt there are countless others like here dealing with the same issue. And if I’m being honest, my hand is raised here because I struggle with it myself.
As I’ve pondered insecurity over the years I’ve learned that we’re all insecure. Yes, every last one of us! That businesswoman that seems to have it all pulled together at her corporate job during the day may go home and fall apart right before dinner. Or perhaps that mom with the perfect kids and put-together schedule cries herself to sleep at night! We’re all insecure about something!
I wish I could tell you that there’s a quick fix for this battle with insecurity, or that there is a way to make it go away. The difficult news is that it’s not going anywhere, but the good news is that we can learn how to deal with it! And I want to show you how I’m learning to battle with insecurity.
Stop Comparing Yourself
“Comparison is the thief of joy.” You’ve likely heard this powerful statement before, but have you ever really let it sink in?
If you’re constantly comparing yourself to everyone else around you you’re never going to be happy. You’ll be stuck in the vicious cycle of wishing for anything and everything else except what’s right in front of you.
Now I don’t know about you but one of the biggest places I compare myself to others is when I’m scrolling through social media. One glance through my feed and I start wishing I could be a better wife, have an awesome body like my friend, create awesome meals for my family, and the list goes on and on.
It’s easy to glance through social media, get jealous and start throwing yourself a pity-party. (I know because I’ve done it myself.) When you find yourself doing this remind yourself that life isn’t all roses and sunshine. The truth is, unless you’re close friends with everyone in your social media feeds you may never see the bigger picture and what’s really going on in their lives.
This might step on your toes but maybe it’s time to take a social media break or even unfollow a few friends for a little while. I’ve done this before and it really does make a big difference.
Crystal Paine says, “If you compare yourself to someone else’s situation, you are going to feel like you fall short when the reality is that you are comparing apples and oranges. Don’t cheat yourself by trying to measure up to people who are living entirely different lives. Focus on the life you have right in front of you, embrace it, and make the most of it.”
Ask for God’s Help
I know, I know, it’s sounds cliche to pray to God and ask Him for help. But isn’t that what a Father is there for – a place for a daughter to cry on His shoulder and tell Him what’s going on in your life?
You may even be thinking that He has better things to do than help you with your insecurity issues. The truth is, He loves you sweet sister and longs to have an abundant relationship with you. What better way to strengthen your relationship than to cry out to him with your insecurities!
Take Your Thoughts Captive
What in the world am I talking about when I say to take your thoughts captive? Well, I’m glad you asked. Here’s just one of the many instances where I’ve been able to take my thoughts captive.
Years ago I worked in web design. I had been working on a website for a client and my friend was creating the graphics. When I saw my friend’s awesome graphics that little thing called insecurity rared its ugly head.
I started telling myself that I should be able to create graphics for my sites, I’m not good enough, not talented, and so much more! And I’ll just go ahead and admit that I threw myself a mini pity-party. (And it wasn’t very pretty.)
I knew those thoughts swirling around in my brain weren’t truth. God thinks I’m talented…He’s the one who gave me the talents that I do have! I reminded myself that while I may not be as gifted in the graphic design department as my friend, I have many other talents that I should be proud of.
II Corinthians 2:15 says, “We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.” Friend, we must take our thoughts captive and compare them to what Christ says about us.
Are the thoughts that continuously swirl around and around in your brain or come to mind daily (or even hourly) in agreement with what Christ says about you?
As soon as you have “that thought” stop right there and ask yourself if Christ would agree with it.
*A great way to know what Christ says about you is to daily be in the Bible reading it. Find a few scriptures that speak deep to your heart and memorize them. (I love the book Psalm for scripture memorization.)
Taking your thoughts captive isn’t a one and done kind of thing. You must daily choose to take your thoughts captive. I’ve been working on this for a few years and, let me tell you, it’s hard work, but it’s so worth it! It’s soooo hard at the beginning but gets easier as you continue doing it.
An additional resource on insecurity that I’d highly recommend is Beth Moore’s book So Long, Insecurity. In fact, when I decided it was time to work on my own insecurity issues, this was the book I grabbed. And boy am I glad that I did – it was beyond helpful!